I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
dude, i think that’s a fairy
I got a marketing email from hobbycraft to say that they're now selling plush pumpkins ahead of halloween
so of course I went to the website, which led me to this delightful photo series showing the different sizes available:
ALT
ALTI love and support this man and his pumpkin collection
The leftism leaving people's bodies as soon as a transmasc gets a little too angry about the misogyny he has faced from cis people
me: i’m not sure about this outfit
friend: you look fine let’s just go!!
me:
friend was right cuz that fit shreds
I love it when completely normal men get in a relationship with the incredibly strange women and try their best to understand them and to indulge them even tho they’re utterly confused.
This is about the guy who’s gf got obsessed with The Terror so he offered to roleplay as a doomed victorian arctic explorer during sex.
I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off
sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.
i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke
you cant do this to me
sorry, any disability movement that tries to have me say that I DON’T have deficits or that I’m NOT defective will always end badly. endlessly trying to reframe disabled traits as superpowers will only ever exclude the most vulnerable. it will only ever shove aside other disabled people in an attempt to normalise the limited symptoms that CAN be reframed as “benefits”. and that’s not a movement I can prescribe to
